I stood outside, tonight, as summer blew her dewy warmth across my skin. She seemed unwilling to concede to autumn- a stubbornness I was grateful for. My toes on the edge of the lawn, I remained a statue, fixed, on the horizon. “I am still small. I am still small.” I could not stop repeating this mantra.
The universe humbles me. It reminds me of its vast capabilities, and spins pictures, more beautiful than my imagination could create. It towers over me and quiets the clutter within.
When I am caught up in the importance of my actions, or the gravity of fleeting feelings, the truth is that I am still small. The universe, and for me, God, is at the wheel. What a gift it is to know that regardless of how much I indulge my ego for the sake of believing I have control over the many facets of my life, I am still small.
Giving up control is a struggle for me. In this quieter season of my life, I am working on listening to the universe and the voice it has for its direction. Tonight, I was grateful for the reminder that at every moment, regardless of how big I become in my head, I am still small. It’s one of my favorite feelings- the idea that, while I am at the center of my world, it would be such a wasted life to get stuck inside of it. It is a gift to exist in my “smallness”.
Thank you, God and the universe. My tear- brimmed eyes are grateful for your picture, and the gift of being small.
Mother, Wife, Teacher and Believer.